Know me... Know you... Maybe...

"What does that mean know me, know me, nobody ever knows anybody else, ever! You will never know me."

We can spend a lifetime "knowing" someone... spending so much time and effort trying to know who they are inside and out... but is it even possible? Will you ever know someone to that extent? Their innermost thoughts? Their dreams? Their fears? Events that they would even like to forget? Their repellant thoughts that they are too reluctant to admit out loud?

Do you deny it? That we've all had contemptible thoughts at some time or another. Sometimes it's out of jealousy... others out of hate... love... curiosity... ignorance... and we keep them to ourselves... because heaven forbid you say them out loud and be judged. So they sit there... and marinate in the confines of our psyche... shaming us... but still silent and content knowing it will remain captive. No, no one will know anyone 100%.

Not me... Granted, there are those that know me as much as can be predicted... but to know me... 100%. *sigh* Not sure that's possible. Maybe I'm too complex. Maybe that's giving me too much credit lol... Maybe that's been my problem in relationships past… the expectation that they should know everything about me, when in reality it was asking the impossible.

Maybe it's not such a bad thing... to have a piece of you that you can't ever explain to another. It's just you... and it's something only one can cherish within themselves... It's comforting in a way... that no matter how much you expose yourself to the world around you... there is always a piece that will remain cryptic... It's the mystery that draws the world to want to know more. It's what makes you unique... something that can't be counterfeited by any other.

But again… maybe it's also what drives one to never be satisfied... finding yourself in a relationship or friendship for years... and in the end still asking the question... why didn't it work? And though you can make a list with reason after reason after reason that lies surface deep... none seem to answer the question for your pacification. Maybe it was that X factor... the part of that person that you could never and will never quite figure out...

Maybe our fulfillment rests in only aspiring to know ourselves 100% and giving up on the ideal that we will ever know someone else in the same capacity.

And maybe, just maybe… it will alleviate the questions I ask about "them"... and me.