The level of resiliency that people are gifted with never ceases to amaze me when faced with life's difficulties and challenges. We are blessed by God with a threshold for pain that brings people of all ages well past what seems like an acceptable amount of conflict and fear. We've all heard a story that amazes us because the person persevered and displayed an incredible amount of healing and recovery from such circumstances as death, illness, abuse, torture, terrorism and so on.
At times we may even judge someone who doesn't seemingly have this level of resiliency because we subconsciously compare our own difficult circumstances with theirs. If we equate in our minds that we have gone through something worse, there is an unwelcome tendency to judge that person as weak or dramatic. As someone brilliant once eloquently put it, "We judge other's pain from the window of our own experience." An epiphany I had several years ago as I found myself doing this was that a person's pain is the deepest pain they know.
Our threshold for pain is built over time through difficult circumstances that challenge us to learn to cope, forgive, and heal. All too often, we may even forget the forgiveness and healing part... but ah, what the hell... we cope enough to fake it... for awhile at least.
When we deal with a circumstance for the first time, we have to fuddle around in our emotions until we figure out a way to get through it that will protect our hearts as best we can. If we run into the same circumstance, we then know what to do until the next new challenge comes along... which stretches us to face that deeper level of pain until we find a new strategy to protect ourselves the best we can and the cycle continues. But as they say, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Cliche, but most would agree is true. I would add that there are even more blessings to reap from our painful experiences.
The deeper our pain, the more opportunity to experience joy at an entirely new and amazing level. When you only know a certain depth of pain, it seems natural to only appreciate things in a reciprocal manner. Often times we fail to see how blessed we are, until we enter a new depth of pain, we trudge through the murky waters, and clean ourselves off with an entirely new appreciation of all the greatness around us.
Today, there are so many that I know who are going through awkward transitions, painful loss, and the like. I pray that these are words of encouragement along the same lines that "It is always darkest before the dawn"... If you are feeling hopeless and in a darker place than you have been before... know that your day is coming and the light will shine brighter than you have ever experienced!
For others, I pray that we are reminded of our God-given gifts to be empathetic, compassionate, and loving by remembering a time that we too were at the same threshold of pain... I pray that we reject the opportunity to compare and judge... and that we walk in step, side-by-side with those that are in need and share the hope that we have been given through our own painful but blessed journey.
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