You can't imagine how many times I have gotten the sympathy eye recently when I tell people I'm single again lol... Ironically, sometimes I think it's harder for others to accept rather than myself. :)
Understandably I think most would assume that I'm broken up about it... but after four years of trying your best, giving 200% and just not being able to establish core elements of the relationship like trust and respect... how broken up can I really be? And after the 10th breakup (or maybe more lol) it kinda loses that sad emotional impact. What's there to really cry about at a certain point?
It's interesting the sense of freedom you feel after a relationship is over. I remember being single before and wanting so badly to find someone to share things with... and it seems strange that you get what you've been wanting yet don't really realize the commitment it takes until all is said and done. Does that make sense? Hard to explain.
Don't get me wrong... it's all worth the commitment... the good outweighs the bad... but the next go around I am shooting to have the same sense of freedom I feel now being single, but in the relationship. I just feel it's the only way to make it work... He has his life, I have mine, and we have ours. Is that just something we learn as we get older? lol... When you're younger you feel like a relationship means no more me... it's always we. It's a complex, yet overly simplified concept.
The happiest, healthiest relationships I know have freedom. Control is not a necessity for either person. And ultimately, this builds the level of respect that's vital to being lovers and best friends.
Anyhow, as to not go on and on and on with this topic for fear of sounding like a Dr. Phil protege... I'll end it with this. Four years... no regrets... and no need for sympathy. My heart hadn't been vested 100% for quite some time... but when you have a heart as big as mine... sometimes 80% keeps you in longer than you should be.
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